1. |
Caverns
01:25
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Anxious, separated from consciousness, what is real and what do I choose to believe?
See the world from a million different eyes
Feel your chest cave like the caverns around us all.
Stuck in a cycle of inconsistent dread and misery,
I will remain hollowed until I have it back.
Hopelessly lost, I am hopelessly lost
These eyes you speak so fondly of are filled with seas of pain, it will never be the same.
These eyes you speak so fondly of are filled with seas of pain, you’re to blame, day to day colours fade.
There is a way but my smile is fake
There is a way, my smile is fake
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2. |
Clarity
02:40
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I need some clarity,
I feel like I have no identity and I spend many nights questioning my sanity
I have no vanity and I consider myself a sad abnormality
Thinking the world’s committing one big act of depravity
I have no place, I’m such a waste of space
I have no place, I’m such a waste of space
There’s no clarity, with my identity and It’s making me question my sanity, no vanity,
I’m just an abnormality, that can’t get over the world’s depravity, with too much authority and
not enough integrity, what’s with all the hostility?
What’s with all the hostility?
No stability in my mentality, inability is my specialty
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3. |
Appease the Disease
03:40
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I'll never understand how I became so bitter, maybe just sick and tired of being a quitter, constantly giving myself new ways of positively and not even getting a flicker of the happiness I feel I deserve. It's like looking at a foreign schematic, so I give myself static, only because I'm melodramatic. Always trying to find new ways to smile but it never lasts awhile because I've become stuck in the distortion. I've become stuck in the distortion, hating myself more after every contortion because I'm unable to keep my emotions in proportion. I'm tired of this unease, wishing time would freeze so I could try to appease this disease inside me. I wish weren't automatic to be anti-pragmatic, fanatic, playing the same cinematics of different enigmatics. The only the reason i stay if for my friends, the only reason I'm here is for my blood, the only reason I persist is for my love, the only reason I keep going are for those beside me, there to revive me, stay alongside me I mean why do i lack the commitment to give myself assistance, so afraid of getting help because I think it's illogical, how could suffering everyday be logical? The only reason I stay, The only reason I'm here
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4. |
Liars
02:44
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They were lying to me when they said we were special when no singular being matters,
they were lying when they said we had a future when the only destiny I’ll follow through with is age then death, they were lying when they said we had a voice when no one’s voice is heard, they were lying when they said is good when change has left me with nothing but ache, they were lying when they spoke of progress when the only advancement I’ve seen is evil and corrupt, they were lying when they said to be yourself when being myself has put a barrier between everyone and me.
They lied to me, they lied to you, the world is cruel and there’s nothing, nothing you can do.
Honestly, honesty
They lied to me, they lied to you, the world is cruel and there’s you or anyone can fucking do
We assume to much when we know so little
Liars.
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5. |
Strength in Sound
03:15
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We live in a world where people slit their wrists, do you need more proof that demons exist? They make us think our pain is our fault after every assault. I find strength in sound, I found peace in the light, I find strength through the fights, I found peace knowing everything feels right
Strength through pain, you drove me insane, I was never meant to feel this weight, you showed me the way, if only I could stay. I need to pick a side, pick a side before I fucking die, I’ve given up on helping myself, my words will never help someone else. If you think you’re going to be okay, you’re not really thinking. It’s too late and I can’t accept that, to be my fate.
Strength in Sound. We live in a world where people slit their wrists, do you need more proof that demons exist? We live in a world where people kill themselves, do you need more proof that demons show themselves? Show yourself.
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6. |
Disconnected
03:22
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My life at home was shattered in two, something I wish I could undo because I struggled to make do. See my step dad was diagnosed with liver disease and needed a transplant.
They said he had 5 years, they said they’d try there hardest to replace his damaged organ but this was easier said than done. He was 55 with the rarest blood type, he never drank he wasn’t the type.
At first I pretended like it never bothered me or that it wasn’t happening. We never got along much because of my lazy, manipulative ways while his health was stable. I distracted myself with games because of the sense of control it gave me, I distracted myself with the “cool kids” in my grade for a temporary relief I got when it felt like I fit in. His health started to deteriorate and just like any coward, I avoided the situation, just like any coward I avoided my home. I started consuming any substance to numb my imaginary pain while my family needed me more than ever. I regretted all of the above
Pretend. Distract. Avoid. Consume. Regret.
He would get gondus, his yellow skin looking flawless, we always had to be cautious and this shook any faith I had with God’s promise. My stomach was sick but he was the one throwing up blood, I’m under my blankets but I still hear mom sobbing, I still hear mom sobbing. It’s been a year since they replaced his liver, but just like any coward I just push the blame, just like any coward I still feel the same.
Pretend. Distract. Avoid. Consume. Regret.
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